oooo?

awesomeness as a concept?

don't you just wonder sometimes what makes a person that special someone? why does that person have to go and change? or why does the way you feel have to change?

the other day i was just you know, thinking about that and wondering why it is that someone i think is absolutely totally endlessly infinitely AWESOME other people just shrug or grimace and say "ew."

or, worse yet, you see the person sometime later and think "ew."

it would be so cool if the parts you just love about a person wouldn't change, you know? i guess what i mean is, if you could look at that person and all those things you just love about that person stayed that way. and your loving those things stayed that way. and i guess i have to add here, and you don't learn other things about that person that totally screw how you think of him.

well, okay. fine. people DO change. but WHYYYY do we have to change so much? and why is it that, even when you really love someone, someone else can wiggle into your perspective like some damn fish in the aquarium and throw the whole thing off balance? i hate that.

i guess that's the thing about the idea of happily married, you know? you sort of look at the idea and it sounds good, and there's people out there who are. happily married, i mean. but personally, i'm not sure i would be. or could be. because there's always that idea floating around in my head that the person looks and sounds and all around just SEEMS to be THE ONE, but it would be a total crashing BUMMER if one day you wake up or he wakes up and thinks OMG ... THAT was a mistake.

i think that's the thing about being human. we make mistakes with alarming regularity. the suxxor part is, in real life you don't get a do-over or re-edit.

and wouldn't that be awesome if we could ???