hilaryspeak - clintonese as a second language

been watching the coverage (*cough*) of the presidential hopefuls and i'm like ... huh. robert heinlein was right. dang.

i started out thinking i'd probably vote clinton (despite that it would have put her hubby bubba back in the white house). but now? not in a million years. some of the things she's said and done make me embarrassed to be the same gender, yanno? seriously, ppl ...

• RELIGION ... i'm not christian. does she think i'm in a cult too? (i'm sorry but that was seriously STUPID to try to push that one) i'm american ... last time i checked, the law still granted us freedom of religion ... and as far as that goes, it's seriously desperate to try to hold someone's friends or associates against them ... after all ... look at some of the folks she's associated with (like bubba?)
• RACE ... i'm not white ... that does NOT mean i'm just gonna vote for the nonwhite. i'm not that stupid and i resent the implication. does she think that not being white makes a person less able to grasp government as well? ummm yeah, apparently she does. i don't believe we need to be pushing the race card, folks ...
• EXPERIENCE ... hey now ... she seems to think her being married to he who was once known as the president, means she's got a much better grasp of the issues than the black man. okay but yanno, that implies that she's into kiss and tell. which means that if she gets to the white house, bubba is definitely inner circle. YIKES!
• SPOUSE ... and speaking of married ... with a hubby like bubba, she REALLY ought not to try to take pot shots at obama's wife. i understand EXACTLY what mrs. obama was saying in her comment and if u want to diss the spouse, might i point out that MRS obama didn't actively undermine her spouse the way bubba has ... and for that matter, i don't think we'd have to worry about either obama and white house staff or aides.
• IRAQshock ... i'm not a hawk but i'm still intelligent enough to realize that there's no such thing as "just pull out" ... honey, i don't know if mama ever told u but that doesn't work for sex, and it doesn't work for war, either.
• PREPARATION (we're not talking H) ... folks, just in case u think i'm being unfair, if she's sleep deprived NOW ... what's SHE gonna do when the phone rings at 3am? "*snort* honey, would u get that?" ... now THAT'S a scary thought, isn't it?
• FINANCES ... ooooooooh and okay, so obama has been spending big big money in this campaign ... ummmmmm ... compare the sources ... lots of us little people sending in bucks, versus big expensive fundraisers for big bucks? and at least he pays HIS bills? if they've made so much money since bubba left the white house (including the $$ bubba got for speaking against her campaign platform) and they've been doing these HUGE campaign fundraisers like the one they got elton john to do ... how come unlike us little ppl, they don't have to pay their bills?
• EDUCATION ... and for that matter, i thought she was a big proponent of education? so wouldn't that make it sort of important to at least pay the bill she owes those universities???? or ... does this imply that maybe she really DOESN'T understand the plight of the common man?

... wait. that's RIGHT. the plight of the common man is a fallacy. in hilaryspeak, SHE's the victim, right?

how exactly does THAT work?